Master-Mind Alliance: The Key To Less Work, More Life, Balance

Letting Fear Rule You Is Bad For Business?
Written & Copyrighted by Richard Paris Borough, Ph.D.

Blood, sweat, tears and fear—that's what it takes to build a prosperous business. And overcoming the fear is the worst. However, it would be a mistake to let fear keep us from doing what we know we must do.

As a psychologist and business coach, helping people deal with their fears is part of my job. Fears come in all flavors. Some stay with us a lifetime, others come and go. Fear is an integral part of our existence and is essential to our survival. Many fears experienced by business people center around work. Having a better understanding of fear is a start to keeping our fears in check.

All our feelings or emotions are derivatives of the big four: Mad, Glad, Sad, and Fear. Fear is the most powerful feeling. It's quite normal for us to be afraid of some things at some times. But sometimes fear is a perfectly awful, extremely negative, and debilitating experience. The fear experience can produce high anxiety and panic bordering on terror, and we definitely do not welcome these feelings. Chronic, extreme unchecked fear can cause severe illness and even death.

And yet, fear serves a very useful purpose. Without fear to caution us about the consequences of our interactions and behaviors, we might engage in unsafe activities, like jumping off a building while holding onto an open umbrella and expecting to just lightly descend to the ground below. So fear is a "message carrier." When we experience fear we know to look for the message, to watch out, something might be wrong. Fear tells us we need to increase our awareness, to stop and think.

There are many work-related fears. What if people find out how little I really know? What if my customers decide to buy elsewhere? Is the IRS really out to get me? What if I have to fire somebody? How am I going to give that talk to my trade association next month? What if my partner gets mad at me again? What if my insurance rates go up? What if my bookkeeper moves to Cleveland? What if I can't collect my biggest account? What if I don't make enough money? What if one day I don't want to go to work?

Most fears spin-off these biggies: failure, rejection, inadequacy, confrontation, embarrassment, being out of control, commitment, loneliness, poverty, illness, sudden disaster, and death.

To deal more effectively with all our fears we have these options.

We can change the emotional charge that's on our fear. Do this and like a snowball rolling down hill, a small change will grow as it gathers momentum. Shortly, we'll have a different experience, or at least the intensity of our feeling will have decreased.

We really can change how we feel. We're not permanently stuck with our feelings. Although it's probably simpler for us to imagine how things could be worse, to exaggerate our fears, we can also imagine how things might be better. By imagining a better outcome, our fear feelings change automatically. Our thoughts help us change how we feel because we are able to decide what we want to think about. And when we do, our feelings change as a result—like magic.

We can reframe the negative connotation of fear. We can learn to think of fear as a positive thing, as a helpful reminder of the things we care a great deal about. We can think of fear as friendly signpost, a reminder of the importance of some people and things.

We have choices. We can choose to see fear as a horribly bad thing, or as a good friend. I suggest we allow our fears to tell us what's really important to our businesses and to our lives. Is it the need to cut costs or generate more net income? Is it cash flow? Is it being more self-confident? Is it spending more time with family members? What?

Once we're clear about what's most important to us, what we fret and worry about, what we're afraid of losing, then we're better equipped to relax, plan, and take appropriate action. Clarity of purpose and knowing what's important to us is a good thing.

We can shorten our look ahead. We can try to identify the specific source of our fear. Please understand that anxiety, a non-specific form of fear, a feeling the cause of which is often not easily determined, is a direct result of living too far into the future. So when experiencing fear or anxiety, we should shorten our look ahead, narrow the focus of our attention and limit the scope of our concern. Think about "right now," or the next few minutes, or the next day or two, rather than the whole year to come, or the next ten years. Incidentally, there's a problem that arises as a result of living too far in the past too. We call that depression.

We can tell someone. Just talking about our fears with a trusted confident will often help us feel better. If we talk to more than just one person we'll probably find that other people have some of the same fears that we have. It helps to know we're not alone.

We can do something. To change how we feel about and handle fear, we can take action. Doing something is empowering, and often solves the problems that created the fear in the first place.

The greatest temptation in life is to settle for less. Beware of settling for less by not challenging your fears. Your dreams are precious. Only as a last resort should you lower your expectations and aspirations. Think, meditate, and seek advice. You ought never give into your fears without exhausting all viable options, especially talking to a trusted advisor.

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